strawberrri.diaryland.com
oh. my. god...
2001-10-13 | 8:22 p.m.

I made a discovery about Daniel today that both shocked and threw me completely. Well, not really a discovery as much, but someone told me something about him.

I feel humiliated. When I was out with him and his friends they all knew, knowing I didn't know. Apparently they all wanted him to tell me, but I feel like they have probably been laughing behind my back. Even my fucking brother knew.

I don't know what to do. The person who told me - Sussanna - made me swear not to tell anyone, and that her life was on the line. What was I to him? Just an accessory so he could hide behind what he really was?

I should have guessed really. Talking to him the other day he told me that he *wouldn't* have a girlfriend by xmas. I asked him how he could be so certain. He told me he was just sure of it...

And this isn't a recent thing either. It's been 2 years or more. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me, or so Sussie said.

Someone could have warned me away from him without telling me the details, but everyone let me carry on being with him, me being completely unaware of the real situation.

I have nothing else to say on the matter, except I am in turmoil. All these thoughts are just bashing into eachother in my head and I can't think straight at all.

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