We were talking about a lot of stuffe, and sort of arguing too. :( Being honest, he said he didn't trust me, and that I was too immature for him. He said he'd been everywhere and done everything and would be happy to settle down in a few years' time. It looks like it ain't meant to be...

He carried on throwing criticism at me about various things, which kind of hurt.. I personally think he is pretty immature, so I told him I thought *I* was too old for *him*. He just said "You're wrong."

I suppose 5 years is too big an age gap really... He looked up at me and said, in a way which made me feel really sad inside, "I'm too old for you, aren't I?" And it was a rhetorical question. :(

The weird thing is, I'm still with him. I asked him if he wanted to break up with me, and he said no, and that he cared about me. He still has a problem with Dave though. He grabbed my mobile phone, and sent him a text saying "fancy a shag?" which made me go absolutely mental at him. But he just calmly (and quite scarily I thought) laughed and said "Well, it's what you really want anyway," and he kept saying about how I didn't care about him and just wanted to be with Dave.

I sent Dave a text this morning explaining that it was Paul who'd sent the other one from my phone.

In a way I really want to stay with Paul, but the ounce or so of intelligence I have in my head is screaming at the highest level to get out of this relationship as quickly as possible, and to never turn back...

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