Nrrrr and I nearly had a heart attack in today's seminar when my tutor, a Dr. Sweet, quickly morphed into violent-bitch mode when it became apparent that none of the class had done any reading (on Hogarth and 18th century English portraits. Quelle fascinating) and started asking random people exactly what they had read for today's seminar. Thank fuck she can't remember my name, that's all I'm saying. I could barely keep awake, let alone come up with a fake book I'd read. So I just sat there, and tried to hide behind my bag and pretend to be engrossed in making notes and, well, it's over now anyway.

It's not like I even had the time to do reading or essay writing over the weekend (I now have library books that were due back yesterday, but I don't want to give them back as I haven't read them yet and I know they're in demand so I'm just going to hang on to them and pay the fine. And I know this is very, very, very BAD as people may be waiting to read them...)

Where was I? Ahh, the weekend. Friday of course I had to endure Laura's French man, which involved putting up with arse-kicking, neck-flicking, the force-feeding of fruit and being grabbed by the scruff of my neck and being thrown on top of Laura while she was in bed. He found it hilarious. I just made a blood-curdling scream and ran before he could inflict more torture on me.

Saturday my man came to stay. I got belated Valentine's cards (which had 'Happy Valentine's Day' crossed out, replaced with 'Happy February 22nd') and a teddy with a tartan scarf and this was the nicest, most unexpected thing anyone's done for me in a long time.

And he was meant to go home yesterday, but during a goodbye drink in town amidst my lecture-skivage he realised he'd left his train tickets in my room, and couldn't be arsed to go back to get them and then back to the station.

And hence I owe my brain three days of sleep although I'm going to try and pull a deal with it and offer Diet Coke instead. I still have my three essays to do, and having seen how angry some of the tutors can get I can only assume that if I fail to hand them in I'll be packed off to Saudi Arabia for a beheading.

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