strawberrri.diaryland.com
I live the British dream
2003-04-14 | 9:34 p.m.

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

^ That's what my insides are screaming at me but was it worth it? Yep! LIVERPOOL WAS FANfuckingTASTIC! And oh, I am so tired and it took me four and a half hours to get home today and yuck - trains where there is nothing to do except a puzzle book for three solid hours until I thought I was going to die and so stopped doing that and looked out of the window at sheep and suchlike and felt ok again.

In short my trip was an alcohol-fuelled three-day bender, although in between I also went on a ferry and saw a bright BLUE lobster (ok, it was in an aquarium over the other side of the river Mersey, but meh), saw Penny Lane and she is now in my ears and in my eyes and various other Beatle-icious places, and shops with crazy t-shirts with electronic moving writing, and the weather map that used to be used on This Morning.

I annoyed some security guards in a club on Saturday night. Oops. I was erm, 'being ill'. Fair enough. In the men's toilets though. Okaaay. And they started banging on the door telling me if I didn't come out then they would break down the door but I was being sick fer fuck's sake! And I refused to come out until Laura came to fetch me. I don't know why I was in the blokes' toilets though. I either just went in there because it was the first toilets I came across or because I thought it'd be amusing. But I don't suppose I'll ever really know.

I also went round someone's house (who has managed to stick a Pritt Stick to their living room ceiling) last night to play a game of pool and accidentally fell asleep on the sofa and woke up at 5.00am and had to put my contact lenses in a shotglass of water, which later had to be precariously held in a taxi back, otherwise I wouldn't have any retinas left by now.

But it was all really really really really good. No more alcohol. Never ever. Heh. I think I need to spend the next week pouring water-rich fluids into my stomach, as a way of saying I'm sorry and also for my liver, which I think gave up on me shortly into Saturday night and has probably gone into hiding somewhere in Norway.

I desperately need to go to sleep but I'm going to stay up to watch 99 Things to do Before You Die or something similarly named. It's on channel 5 so is blatantly going to be, as they say in those old shampoo adverts, worth it.

I go away for the weekend and when I return I discover the war has ended. I should go away more often!

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