In other news I am mildly worried that Stevenage has been infested with flying ants and their non-flying counterparts, which are exactly the same shape only the poor fuckers are flightless. They're in my garden, they're in my driveway, they're on the paths I use to get to town, they're swimming in the town fountain. I think you get the idea. One was even in my best friend's hair yesterday! I pointed at her and kind of said "Argh!" and she began flapping her arms going "Help me!" so I did the kind thing and told her it was just a tiny fly (which it bloody wasn't) to keep her from doing anything stupid like running away screaming, and flicked it out of her hair. I am kind whereas she is not. I remember last year when a very large spider dropped onto my head all she could do was repeat "OH MY GOD!" whilst refusing to get it out of my hair for me. It's a good thing I'm a very forgiving person.

In other other (kind of insect-related) news I quite literally made a tit out of myself last night. I was cleaning out my underwear drawer yesterday (I TOLD YOU I WAS BORED!) and came across a water-filled bra I had bought when I was about 14. So I tried it on because it's quite comfortable really and is a bit like wearing a water-bed and forgot about it. And then I went downstairs and saw an enormous beetle on the carpet (say, about as long as a ten pence piece...or a quarter or one euro or whatever currency you use) and called my brother to get rid of it, which he did, only I had completely forgotten I was wearing a bra that had increased the size of my chest three-fold. How embarrassing.

I planned to spend today sunbathing, but it's gone a bit cloudy. My plans are therefore absolutely ruined. I also happen to be IMMENSELY displeased at whatever it is Bravenet.com has decided to do to my counter. It was all purple and pretty before! CHANGE IT BACK YOU BASTARDS.

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