I know everyone has done this but...
2003-07-18 | 8:21 p.m.

101 completely useless and not overly interesting facts about me. Read at your peril. They are in absolutely no logical order whatsoever:

1) I'm allergic to penicillin.

2) And rabbits. In fact rabbits make my throat close up and make me feel like I'm going to suffocate.

3) And cats. Unfortunately my dad has 3/4. (That's three stroke four, not three-quarters of a cat. One run away recently.)

4) I got bitten on the bum by a dog once when I was little. A dog chased me, my brother and my brother's friend but they were faster runners than me so escaped harm.

5) For anyone who hasn't seen what I look like, I look like this:

6) I'm quite intelligent academically but don't have an awful lot of common sense.

7) I've never been stung by a bee but I got stung by a wasp once. I trod on the fucker then cried bucket loads and my mum gave me some Junior Disprol and the taste of that made me cry all the more.

8) I lived in Barcelona for three years from the age of four to seven and it's only since I've got older that I appreciate the enormity of this experience (as well as the year-round tan I had).

9) My accent can most accurately be described as watered-down cockney although I automatically speak a bit more posher in the presence of people such as my grandma.

10) The worst drunken accident I had was when this happened to my foot...

...I didn't realise until someone pointed out I had dripped blood all over my living room carpet.

11) I have one proper best friend and I firmly believe we will always be best friends (like the two Julies in Bad Girls, only we're not imprisoned for being prostitutes).

12) I'm not single. I don't really like talking about my love life in here but I've been with him for quite a long time and I love him.

13) I have one brother who's 21 months older than me and I think the bastard found the link to this diary. He's blond and has green eyes and looks nothing like me. In fact he's probably the milkman's (NOT REALLY).

14) I was bullied at school when I was nine and then again when I was 15. Kids can be so cruel. ("We can?! Thanks mom!" Sorry...Simpsons quotes slip out on the odd occasion.) On a more serious note, bullies are fucking horrible.

15) I have hammer toes which means the tip of my second toe on each foot is at a 45 degree angle to the rest of it. I could have an extremely complicated operation to correct them but they don't really cause me any pain.

16) I'm 5 foot 7, which is above the average for UK women, but certainly not freakishly tall.

17) UK 12 clothes size.

18) 36B. When I was 13 I planned on saving up for a boob job but I'm ok with them now.

19) I once thought the Beatles all lived in a yellow tambourine.

20) I can play the clarinet and passed the grades I took (one and three) with merit. I gave it up because of apathy and because of a slight phobia of the clarinet reeds (they made me shudder like fingernails down a blackboard).

21) I can also play the recorder and a little bit of piano by ear. I would love to one day learn piano properly.

22) I also have a very real phobia of cotton wool (think fingernails down a blackboard).

23) But that's not as bad as a girl I used to work with - she had a phobia of umbrellas. She nearly had a nervous breakdown in the summer when we had parasols out on display.

24) I cheated in my French AS level by befriending a multi-lingual man in an Internet chatroom and getting him to write the 12 minute speech I had to give for my oral exam. I still ended up with a D though.

25) I stole two name badges from my old workplace. They are 'Janet' and 'Deborah'.

26) I read the Daily Mail. I should apparently be ashamed of doing so, even though I am completely aware of its political bias and take no notice of it whatsoever. I mainly read it for the comic strips, the crossword on the back and the TV guide.

27) I also occasionally read lads' mags like FHM and Loaded because they are far wittier than any women's magazines. (Really, who else would come up with a section called Top Tramps and a mutilated reader's body part of the month, eh!?)

28) As the picture of my foot suggests, I often drink far too much. This once culminated in me filling an empty pint glass with my own vomit one Friday night in my student union in front of a lot of people.

29) I have a birthmark just under my belly button which is an absolutely perfect Isoceles triangle.

30) My favourite crisp flavour is unquestionably salt & vinegar.

31) My middle name is Carol. My dad wanted it as my first name so thank fuck my mum stepped in and intervened.

32) I used to have a huge crush on comedian Frank Skinner. I was once in the audience for the Frank Skinner Show.

33) I adore the Simpsons.

34) I'm right-handed.

35) I'm really fucking lazy.

36) I own a Furby.

37) Worse than that, I queued up outside Toys 'R' Us at 7.00 am on a Saturday when I was 13 in order to be one of the first people in England to get a Tamagotchi when they first came out. It pissed me off after a couple of weeks so I left it to rot and die in its own filth.

38) I have two gay ex-boyfriends. I like to think it's because I confused them with my attractiveness rather than I was such a terrible girlfriend that I made them convert to men. To be fair, one of them I went out with when I was 13 and our relationship only lasted a week or so.

39) I had my first snog aged 12 with a boy I met on holiday in Norfolk. I was on holiday with my family and my friend Laura and stayed in a static caravan at one of those Haven campsites. The boy was from Corby and I thought I was in love with him. I was devastated when he stopped replying to my letters.

40) I lost my virginity at the age of 17 and four months.

41) I wear contact lenses because my eyesight is appalling. I only became short-sighted a couple of years ago.

42. The most embarrassing thing in my room is my poster of Leonardo DiCaprio from Live & Kicking magazine (I just can't be arsed to take it down and it's like part of the furniture anyway).

43) I'm really anal about spelling, grammar and punctuation and I don't understand why everyone can't learn the difference between your and you're, there their and they're, and it's and its.

44) The first concert I ever went to was Robbie Williams in Milton Keynes in 2001. He's doing three concerts in Knebworth at the start of August and I only live a mile away so I would be able to hear him from my house if I wasn't going on holiday.

45) I've kept a hand-written diary since 1999.

46) I haven't read a new novel in over a year. I started reading Little Women again a few weeks ago but I appear to have lost interest.

47) I read in the bath, which would explain why my books are all tattered and have curly pages.

48) I enjoy writing this diary and will continue to do so until I no longer enjoy it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

49) Going to university was the best thing I ever did. I don't look forward to the time when I have to get a full-time job.

50) I like coffee but not really tea.

51) I have a clock shaped like a jellyfish. Unfortunately it ticks too loudly.

52) Talking of jellyfish, when I was on holiday in Spain two years ago I picked up a large jellyfish out of the sea and squeezed it because I thought it was a scuttlefish. I got quite badly stung.

53) I hate lamb because of its taste and any meat where you can see the veins in it, or if it's made from an undesirable part of the animal. I really like ham, chicken and fish though.

54) I don't really like meat on pizzas either and nearly always go for a vegetarian option.

55) I prefer savoury food to sweet.

56) I avoid McDonald's food and the sooner that company goes bankrupt the better.

57) I have ketchup on nearly everything.

58) I really don't think there are 101 facts about me.

59) My favourite alcoholic drink used to be blue WKD. Now when I have more than three they just taste sickly.

60) I'm more of a wine person now. I adore lager but wine has fewer calories.

61) I absolutely detest the expression 'LOL!' As if you're REALLY laughing. out. loud. every other sentence. Pfft...

62) I never text in txt msg spk. I don't text much at all anyway.

63) I think strawberri/strawberrri is the most ridiculous alias I could have come up with and I'm an idiot. Oh well.

64) If I die prematurely I would like my organs donated.

65) Talking about my possible untimely death makes me feel uneasy.

66) In fact deaths itself terrifies me.

67) I once wet myself at playgroup when I was three or four.

68) When I was eight or so some woman tried to abduct me. Luckily my brother and next-door-neighbour stopped it from happening.

69) I'm really immature and still giggle at the number 69.

70) Leonardo was my favourite Turtle.

71) In the past I've fancied Joey and Chandler from Friends but never Ross (sorry Ross).

72) I have about six Hello Kitty watches. Not many of them work now but I've kind of grown out of Hello Kitty anyway. Hamtaro is far better as is Afro Ken.

73) Talking of hamsters, I had several, one of which died of a heart attack in my very palm.

74) I've met quite a few people off the Internet although I did meet about ten forumers in one go at one of the meet-ups.

75) I think ring-tailed lemurs are adorable.

76) Summer is my favourite season as I like the warmth and the frequent blue skies and barbecues.

77) I have a chicken pox scar on my forehead and one on the side of my nose. They aren't very noticeable but I did suffer very badly from chicken pox.

78) I would prefer to be rich than famous.

79) My favourite colour is blue (what a common choice, I know).

80) I don't have any fillings.

81) I have the ability to make clocks and watches, especially digital ones, just stop by being near them.

82) I bruise ridiculously easily. I don't think I've ever not had a bruise.

83) I prefer to write in blue ink than black.

84) My mouse mat has water and moving goldfish in it. I got it from the Gadget Shop in Oxford Street ages ago.

85) I used to collect Mini Boglins.

86) I still play on my Super Nintendo from time to time.

87) I did gymnastics when I was younger. I got the Kitekat badges 6, 5 and 4 but stopped going when I developed an asthmatic cough.

88) I also used to do horse-riding. I once rode a crazy horse which threw me off then trampled on the inside of my thigh. The horse's name was Lucky. He wasn't lucky for me but then he wasn't lucky for himself either and I can't say I was sad when he died of grass fever.

89) I got the top of my left ear pierced when I was 12. I don't and have not worn an earring in it for years because (and no offence intended) I think it looks horrible on anyone.

90) I travel most places by bike or train because I can't drive. I had 17 lessons last year but stopped when I went to university and now I can't afford them.

91) I want Cameron to win Big Brother although I don't care enough to cast my vote.

92) I never stole anything when I worked at Argos although I did once assist a fellow colleague who was stealing a tent.

93) Although I don't have a very big frame of reference, my favourite city in the world is London and I go there a lot. I'm lucky to live so near it - it's only a 20 minute train ride away.

94) The most famous person I've met is probably Vinnie Jones when he was doing a book-signing in Stevenage a few years ago. I got a personalised autograph but I took it into school and lost it.

95) My favourite CD at the moment is Vehicles and Animals by Athlete.

96) The first album I ever got was the Now! 29 complilation on cassette.

97) Some of these useless facts about me are really fucking boring.

98) Oh well, only three more to go.

99) I'm currently wearing a fake Paul Frank T-shirt that I bought from Camden market. Class-ay!

100) I have a pink Easter chick sitting on my computer monitor. I think my mum put it there when I wasn't looking.

101) It would appear that fact #58 isn't strictly true!

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