strawberrri.diaryland.com
Good and fine
2003-07-25 | 12:13 a.m.

I find, when I try to go to sleep at night, that I think. I think about people, I think about myself, I think about what-if scenarios, I think about the mistakes I've made in my 19 years of life (ohhh there's been many) and how I wish I could go back and change it all, and I think about things that worry me, which I won't bore you with the details of.

And then I think, why couldn't I have thought about all this stuff while I was awake and not really doing much? Why why why dammit? I was actually TIRED at around 10.00 pm and thought I'd be able to sleep decently unlike last night, as the repercussions of not getting up until 5.00pm the other day had kicked in in the form of 'I can't get no sleep'. And now I am rambling. I'm rambling and sneezing and not asleep.

And it's only twenty minutes after midnight!

Tomorrow will prove how much of a Big Brother fan I am not. I have chosen to go out with my good friend alcohol and miss the final night, although I can't guarantee there won't be some girl giggling drunkenly around the bars of Stevenage asking random strangers who won it.

The best thing to happen to me in recent days was finding a crisp five pound note whilst cleaning out one of my drawers. It was a Christmas present from my great aunt and uncle and had been sitting there quietly whistling 'Don't Spend Me' for more than a year and a half. I only know this because on the envelope my great aunt had written 'Have a great 2002.' I celebrated by spending half of it on a train fare to Welwyn Garden City and thinking about what other mysterious forgotten treasures lay in my room, especially in that drawer under my bed that hasn't been opened in about two years because, friends, it's broken and will not open for reasons I don't fully understand.

This entry has been brought to you by sleep-deprivation. Without it, you'd be doing something probably far more life-enriching right now.

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