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Make me wanna scream 2003-11-04 | 10:41 a.m. Attempting to eat a potato that has been sitting in a cupboard for more than five weeks is not the brightest of ideas. I've realised that my diet is the complete and utter antithesis of varied, consisting of bread, soup, pasta, fruit, milk and alcohol. I hope I don't get scurvy like one of the lesbians did. Her gums started bleeding on their own so I advised eating fifty million lemons, fifty million limes, spending two days walking backwards with a broom balanced precariously on her nose and then she would be sorted. I have work to do this week, which is horrifying. And a group project, where people in my group are suggesting that we meet in the evenings to do the work. I can only imagine that they don't live in the ghettoised section of the community that I do, which makes the suggestions that I would walk either to or from my house in the dark on my own completely and utterly INSANE. Not happening, nuh-uh, NO. Oh yeah, a man who must surely live next door has the most hilarious cough I have ever heard in my entire life, which sounds like a mixture of cigar-smoking, chronic bronchitis and a popped lung. And I don't care that it kept me awake at night because to be frank I was lying in bed laughing my arse off. You had to be there. |
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