And a Reading ticket was my anniversary present to the boyfriend. Oops. We haven't been getting on so great lately, despite the Paris trip, and I find this hard to talk about in something as public as an online diary. He finds it difficult to talk to me about a lot of things, especially things I do that bother him. And I am highly irritable and take it out on him...I often snap at him unnecessarily and fail to realise it won't just wash over him as I assume it will. We're human and each have our own faults. He eventually revealed to me that things had built up so much (cumulative frequency springs to mind) that he was annoyed with me in Paris for a) pigeon-feeding and b) wanting to eat a burger for my dinner on our last night there when 'I could have had that in England'. More recently he's been unhappy with the action I took to purchase a certaiN USeful card off eBay. Apparently it is immoral, illegal and I should be ashamed! We're working through things though. I love him but I'm really glad I'm not seeing him this weekend as I need some time out. What's good is he feels the same way so it's not as if we're hurting each other by spending some time apart. Hopefully it'll make me appreciate him properly again. As is the old cliche saying - you don't know what you've got til it's gone (or on hiatus in my case).

It's also struck me that I've been dissatisfied with my life. Don't get me wrong, I do LIKE my life. A lot. My job is like a social club and I...daresay...vaguely enjoy it. I like going to work. It provides something to do during the day, I get paid for it, I get to chat and joke around with a variety of people and have managers who don't give a flying fuck when you turn up or how much work you do, providing you do SOMETHING.

This feeling of non-achievement has led to something. I'm going to start driving lessons again. I'm doing my theory as soon as is feasible (bearing in mind there's this new hazard perceptions test majig) and then a semi-intensive driving course. It'll be expensive and painful but I believe it'll give me a sense of achievement, something which has evaded my life for so long.

In lighter news, I'm buggering off to Leicester on Friday. Finishing work at 1.45 in the afternoon (see what I mean?!) and being picked up by Tori who's driving Natalie and I to our old housemate Blondie's house, who's still living in Leicester as she's doing an MA. Saturday will involve going along to my brother's house in Newcastle Under Lyme for a BBQ and party. There's going to be a bouncy castle I hear. I've a feeling this weekend will be good.

previous | next