I also washed my car for the first time ever yesterday. I am glad I was somewhat lacklustre about the whole affair as today my efforts have been rewarded with what can only have been the entire cast of that Birds film coming and shitting all over my paintwork.

I was not amused.

I wandered around town after getting my petrol today and, dear God, never again. I think I am going to buy ALL of my Christmas presents off the Internet as I cannot stand the human beings whose hobbies are:

1) Lolling around in shop entrances.

2) Lolling around in shop aisles/gangways.

3) Deciding to stop walking just in front of me and loll about for no reason whatsoever, preventing me from getting any-fucking-where.

Why, why and for a thrice time, WHY!??

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