strawberrri.diaryland.com
My lover's got no money, he's got his strongbelis
2007-04-30 | 8:51 p.m.

So many things seem to be happening, which usually correlates with my not writing about any of it. Must learn to change.

I awoke this morning to a text from Damian asking if he could take me away for the weekend. I was hoping by this he meant a day out somewhere, but no... He meant a weekend in a country retreat somewhere, nice hotel, dinner, wine, etc. After some deliberation I agreed - I mean, what kind of idiot would turn this down?

Well, actually, I am that very idiot. A few hours after saying yes I sent him a message saying I didn't think I could, because I would feel indebted to him for paying for me to have a weekend away. And because I don't feel entirely comfortable with this. And going on a minibreak with someone you've only been seeing for three weeks is just TOO MUCH TOO SOON. So we are having a day out somewhere on Saturday instead, Cambridge probably.

I've finally worked out what it is that's bothering me, after explaining my woe to Katie on the phone this evening.

Damian is smothering me (only in the metaphorical sense, thankfully, otherwise I'd probably have duck feathers floating out of my nostrils as I type this). He invited me over this evening, he invited me out on Thursday even though I'd only seen him the day before, he asked if I wanted to do something this weekend just gone. I don't know how to deal with it, though I have a feeling the only way will be to tell him the truth - that it is all too much for me (maybe I could steal a Stop sign and leave it outside his flat?).

I also began thinking about how he's only recently come out of a five-year relationship and was probably used to doing everything with his ex, whereas I have been living a bachelorette lifestyle (it's second to none, truly) for the past eight months, doing whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. I'm not going to pick seeing a bloke over seeing my friends, I think is the bottom line, especially when he wants to see me ALL the time.

Other than that things are pretty rosy. I went out in Covent Garden with uni friends Friday night for Esme's birthday and went to a very dodgy club, called 'Los Locos', stayed over Esme's and climbed to the top of Greenwich park the next day for a picnic before going out with Katie et al in the evening (moshing occurred - fab).

I have the doctor's about my wrist on Wednesday morning, yet despite this passed two speed tests (50 and 60 wpm) on Friday. I will be a stenographer, whatever it takes! Though I'd certainly pick steroid injections over carpal tunnel surgery.

Until next time my loco amigos.



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