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Just ain't enough
2007-12-23 | 2:04 p.m.

Leaving my Christmas shopping until two days before Christmas. Again. What a clever soul I am. Still, it's done now and all that should plague me henceforth is memories of being in Tesco today.

The queue for each checkout was a minimum of ten people, most of whom had crammed into their trolleys what looked to be enough produce to feed them for the rest of their lives in the event of a nuclear holocaust. I sighed, wandered to the back of the shop and reluctantly joined a queue.

After about five minutes a shop assistant came up and whispered to me that because I only had a basket with about four items in it, I could go and pay at customer services. Armed with this golden knowledge that is what I did. Which was handy as my eye had been starting to go twitchy again from the stress of being in there, and I was wont to scare small children with it.

I'm going swimming with my mum at 3.00 pm in what will hopefully be a deserted pool. And tonight I have the arduous task of wrapping my presents, which I will probably do whilst watching Frasier and getting myself covered in sellotape.

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