This is the mum of the boyfriend with whom I split up with MORE THAN THREE YEARS AGO.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIS MUM IN ALMOST FOUR YEARS.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS.

IT IS WRONG IN THE SAME WAY BADGERS HAVING WINGS AND THE SKY BEING MADE OF LENTIL SOUP IS WRONG.

(Ok enough of the Caps Lock. But seriously, it's not normal, surely?)

Hmm.

Anyway, today I had the excitement of working in the Royal Blackmail trial, but...but...I'm banned from talking about any of it! Don't the judges who impose these gagging orders realise I have a public online diary to write? Bloody inconsiderate I must say.

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