My housemate Ben was meant to be moving out yesterday, I was going to go into his (bigger) room and our new housemate Rob was meant to be joining us today. Everything was sorted and it was going to be a changeover nice and convenient before we all went back to work after the Christmas break.

Unfortunately my landlady is like a troll living under a bridge out to cause trouble.

Because Ben's lived here three years, he has a lot of belongings. The Troll decided there was no way on Earth he would get everything out on time, and has forbidden me to move into his room or for Rob to even move in at all. He is now staying in a hotel for the week and if we lose him as a housemate for very understandably being pissed off at this epic inconvenience THEN I WILL BASH HER IN THE FACE WITH A GARDEN SHOVEL.

She's also getting at me and Jenn over broken things: 'This blind doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? What are you going to do about it? It's now your responsibility.' Jenn's only been here six months and me two and a bit and it's not our fault she didn't bother with a full itinery check when previous tenants left.

She's now talking about giving the house a 'deep clean', terminating our present tenancy contract and drawing up a new one and all sorts of shit which I don't think I want to sign up for, frankly.

At 12 o'clock today she's coming over for 'an hour long chat' with me and Jenn, which I am looking forward to about as much as sticking my head into a fishtank full of pirahnas.

This will be interesting.

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