All of the while I was dreaming of Debbie McGee
2009-03-24 | 7:50 p.m.

Guess what? No, I didn't break up with Gaz last week. Instead we went on a picnic. Sigh. I'm procrastinator extraodinaire, which would help explain why I've left a load of washing out to dry for one week now. I already knew that clothes don't just magically hang themselves up in my cupboard but that's not to say it's not one of my many pipe dreams.

I finally, finally made it home at the weekend to see my family for the first time since Christmas. Unexpectedly, I managed to fit in seeing pretty much everyone I wanted to, including my mum, stepdad, brother, grandmother and even my dad, as well as a couple of my olde school friends.

So my brother Adam and I ended up going for lunch with our dad on Sunday, which was great as I do actually miss and care about my family, even if I don't really show it. However, what the first thing my dad said to me, upon picking me up from shopping in town?

'Jade Goody is dead.'

'I'm great, thanks for asking! And you?'

My dad - the harbinger of good news. It's like he's the Grim Reaper's answer to Max Clifford, as when someone in the public eye shuffles off their mortal coil, I do tend to find out about it from him.

I recall the heady days of summer 1997. I was 13 and my days consisted of going out to play with my friends in the sunshine - long bike rides to the many parks in my area, eating penny sweets consisting mainly of squidgy blue dolphins and catching fish in the stream behind my house. When I wasn't doing that I was busy working on the already exceptionally close bond I had with the Nickelodeon channel on cable TV.

Then one morning I was aware of my dad pacing around outside my bedroom. 'He'll sod off soon when he realises I'm "asleep",' thought I, but like a relentlessly ringing telephone he persevered with the pacing around, much to my annoyance. Eventually I clambered out of bed and enquired what the frig was up.

And that's what I was doing the day Princess Diana died.

I'm tired. I've had 18 days of court proceedings ordered and transcribing it all is proving to be irksome, especially as I had a chesty cough at the time so every so often as I listen back to the audio I hear a delightful *HACK* coming from my own fair mouth and feel my eardrums slink off deep inside my brain in protest. Good times.

previous | next