# My carvery brings all the stenos to the yard and they're like, is it all made of lard?
2010-05-31 | 6:19 p.m.

I love this - today I was in a farm cafe having lunch with my mum and Frank and the lady serving us apologised for the delay in service and moaned that she had 'a load of 16 year olds' waitressing that day. And then looked at me and said, 'Oh, sorry. I didn't mean any disrespect.' Ahahaha (I say whilst scrutinising my big pores/under eye wrinkles).

I've had a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend mainly. It's involved going to Katie's on Saturday, with Reeta and re-creating our Barca holiday by eating paella, drinking wine and dancing to an album of our favourite Spanish songs from Rac 105.

Yesterday I went for a bike ride, which was great until I bloody came off (ahhhhh why does this always happen?!). My mud guard shattered, got caught in the wheel and promptly sent me over the handlebars causing me to land in the road FACE FIRST. HOW I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP. My cheek and knees are bruised, my head is grazed, my hands and feet are sliced up and my upper arms feel like I have spent the last fortnight picking up elephants and putting them back down again in an OCD-riddled pachydermal frenzy.

Still, I'm alright innit.

Tomorrow I am going for a Birthday Carvery with fello steno-mates and possibly one or two outsiders. A Toby Carvery for my birthday! If people (especially any barristers) ask what I'm doing to celebrate I'll probably tell a white lie and just say I'm going for dinner with friends. Otherwise it's like being asked where you're going on holiday and giving the reply of 'Butlins'.

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