A single minute can't be wasted
2011-03-03 | 8:21 p.m.

I've been a stenographer for four years now and yet in my latest transcript I managed to write 'dis-Pay As You Goat' instead of 'dispassionate'.

Pay As You Goat! Ahahaha. I think I should possibly start deciding what I want to do with my life career-wise as we had yet another scary meeting with the big managing director (who still doesn't know my name and referred to me as 'Robin's friend' despite the fact I ALWAYS ask questions in meetings and had been conversing with her for a good ten minutes at this particular one). Anyhoo, jobs are safe until September but a budget has been approved for the crappy digital shit which will be our replacement. It's not an immediate worry and I won't let it become one until we're told something better than the massively vague intentions of the Cunting Ministry of Justice, but it's there lurking in the back of my mind...

Since last writing I've been out with the new boy (henceforth to be referred to as Blackadder, whom he is GENUINELY named after, he assures me) twice, the last of which was a pleasant boat ride over to Greenwich last Saturday with a wander up to the museum/observation thingy at the top of the park. Managed to accidentally insult a group of children, which he found hilarious. They were obtaining flimsy 'certificates' from a machine at 1 a go which congratulated them on...yeah, going to a bloody museum. My remark 'This is a certificate for DOING NOTHING' was said a bit loudly and a few cherub-like smiles were turned into frowned, confused faces but it's true! Maybe I can start my own Certificates for Children business which will include 'Congratulations on getting out of bed in the morning' and 'Well done for keeping your BMI below 45.' We'll see.

Blackadder and I are off for a jaunt to Brighton on Saturday, which I'm looking forward to. I've warned him about my addiction to the 2p falls in seaside arcades so if it comes to it he can always deposit me by one of the machines with a blue Slush Puppie to drink (to add to the excitement) and come back to collect me a couple of hours later by which time I'd hopefully be laden with armfuls of seaside arcade keyring-based tat to take back as presents for my workmates. Robin especially loves these.

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