Feel the adrenaline
2011-07-05 | 11:17 p.m.

Personally I think this is a pretty fair deal - I don't get any paid holiday due to being self-employed, BUT if one of us is ever in need of a short day due to dentist/doctor/whimsically shooting off into the sunset of an afternoon then our boss will always try and give the one(s) in need a short day in court.

I asked for one of those today, though not for myself, but because TBay (aka New Clerk; name change due to the fact he just isn't new anymore) was having a knee operation in hospital and didn't have anyone to be there when he woke up or to help him get home. 'You'll be groggy after general anaesthetic and may start snoring on the bus like a walrus!' was my kindly method of offering assistance and I think he was glad as he was dizzy much of the time after and fairly out of it.

I've only ever been under general anaesthetic once, when I was 11. I was having several teeth out, some of which had lovingly attached themselves to my jawbone. My main memories are of feeling lines (?) radiating in my head when the anaesthetic had been administered, waking up in the recovery room with a sore recently un-be-piped throat and then later crying as the end theme tune for The Thin Blue Line started playing (this was 1995) and my mum was going to leave me in hospital for the night. In the end she stayed a bit longer to appease me.

So my day in court finished at 11 and at 11.45 TBay told me he was going under. I got on a bus at 12 and by 1 I'd arrived at the hospital. After mistakenly going near the maternity ward (screamy!) I found the 'Just been surgeried on' ward, was taken round to one of its sections and had a curtain whisked back to one and nothing!

He was still in surgery so I gambolled off to buy Take a Break magazine from the shop and then sat eating a tuna sandwich in the hospital canteen, which reminded me heavily of Scrubs, only my internal monologue was much more shit, consisting of thoughts like 'I am chewing on an onion, agh!' I got bored after half an hour or so and then went for a wander, with perfect timing since I saw a dazed-looking person being wheeled on a trolley bed waving at me and realised it was him.

I sat with him for a couple of hours while he was assessed and had some food and wanted to sleep for a bit, and then escorted him home and we watched some TV and cats, stupid Crystal Maze contestants and Simpsons clips on YouTube before I left him to rest for the night. Doing nothing is exhausting - maybe tomorrow some exercise.

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