Wedding Tales (Part I)
2016-04-21 | 8:50 p.m.

So, two days before my wedding I went up from my home in London to my mum's and...I can't actually remember much of this day! Except that the train was crowded, and that I was drinking a lot of green tea (anti-inflammatory innit) in the hope of warding off any boils from accumulating on my face. I didn't get any boils for my big day luckily.

The day before my wedding was a lovely, spring-y day. In the morning me and mum went for a 20-mile bike ride in hazy sunshine in the beautiful Hertfordshire countryside and it was glorious! Upon returning home I showered and hair-washed and realised my face was rather red and thought yes, only I could get sunburnt on the cusp of winter in England the day before my wedding. But it did go down after several hours, otherwise I could have given a whole new definition to "blushing bride".

That afternoon I, my mum and brother visited my gran in the home she'd been in for six months. She had been suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's for a good few years and we were just thankful she was in a comfortable place where she was being cared for. I'd been to see her a lot over this six-month period, as indeed I did when she was in her own home, but at this particular visit she had not eaten for five weeks, other than half a nutrient drink here and there. She was in pain and I knew it was the last time I'd ever see her. There were tears (mine and mum's). We stayed as long as we could - I held her hand and told her we were with her - but we had bridesmaids coming to stay the night and had to go eventually.

So we got home and Jenn and Katie came round, I helped make a buffet for everyone and I shovelled food in my mouth when it was literally the last thing I felt like. I was so determined to have a fantastic wedding day as that would have been the very thing my gran would have wished for me.

Actually slept a bit the night before! Woke up for a while but did go back to sleep until my alarm a little before 7.



At 7 am I somehow got stuck on tea duty?!? Helloooo, it's my perfect princess day thank you very much! No, I made tea and breakfasts and as a result managed to be late for the hairdresser due to still being in the shower when she arrived at 8 am.

Despite this I managed to have my hair and make-up finished by 9.30 but I don't think I was a fun customer due to my instructions of, "Less eyeliner" ... "Slightly less" ... "Just a bit less, please," until my long-suffering hair and make-up lady informed me that in fact there was no eyeliner left to remove which resulted in my response of, "That is the perfect amount!"

I then began pacing around the house unable to complete tasks, like packing my overnight bag, or take in any form of information whatsoever. I obsessively checked the weather, which at this point was cloudy but the Beeb said would be clearing to sunshine about 11 am, which it cheerfully did. At about 11.15 I decided I felt dreadful enough with nerves that I HAD to take my beta blocker (Holly, you give the best advice EVER) and after doing that felt that everything would be just dandy.

I lost the next hour. I don't know what I did other than Jenn being amazing, getting me tea and suggesting I eat some almonds if nothing else, which did help.

(God this is getting rambly.)

My mum, step-dad and brother left in their car at midday and at 12.15 my dad arrived as he was to be travelling in the wedding car with me und bridesmaids. He arrived announcing my step-mum and little brother wouldn't be coming to the ceremony as they had dog care issues. You have to laugh! Or frantically get on the phone in my case, to tell people to remove the reserved signs from their seats.

I want to say at this point that you can love something despite its imperfections, and I really, really did love my wedding day, which I can quite happily say was the best day of my life.

So then our wedding car arrived, a great beautiful beast. The driver asked what we wanted to do as we had bags of time to get to the ceremony. Of course the answer was go for a drive! I warned him before the four of us climbed in that he might want to move off my mum's drive, which is a downward slope, but was met with a dismissive, "No, no, it's fine." It wasn't my call to make. We clambered in and the driver stated, "I like to let all the neighbours know we're leaving by doing this!" and honked the horn twice. Then we all heard a great scraping noise, and I could see in the rear view mirror one of my mum's neighbours animatedly pointing at the ground, where a ruddy great exhaust pipe lay.

My dad asked the driver what was plan B only to be informed that there was no plan B whilst scampering out of the car, at which point I relaxedly informed everyone that we could always get a cab. Moments later the driver reappeared, having hidden the exhaust pipe in a hedge(!) and promising to collect it later. He said we'd be fine if we didn't get noticed by the police ... whereupon we passed a police car five minutes into our journey and what is inconspicuous if not a giant car with a purple bow containing wedding-attired folk inside?! But we were on our way!

And this is too bloody long and I'll continue it soon, I promise!

previous | next