2017-10-08 | 11:17 a.m.

Andrew is in the process of updating Diaryland!?

All good here - I'm on a long running fraud trial at one of London's crown courts and have inadvertently made friends with some crims. One slapped me on the back and called me darling the other day.

The trial wasn't sitting on Friday so Ollie took a day off and we went to Flatford Mill to see the spot of Constable's the Haywain, walked over to Dedham and marvelled at the beautiful beyond measure countryside. I think my friend Robin is right - North Essex is a lot nicer than South Essex. Note: I live in South Essex.

We also went on a last minute trip to Centerparcs in Suffolk at the beginning of September, which is best described as the complete opposite of the Glastonbury festival, although I did enjoy playing bowles and having a comfortable night's sleep every night!

In other news, our cleaner quit after only coming round three times. We weren't doing anything nasty like booby-trapping the house a la Home Alone, but simply I don't think she liked it when Ollie texted her to say we'd noticed through our smart home monitor that she'd left after an hour and three quarters. We were paying her (and agency fees) for three hours so asked if could we give her more to do. This prompted her to not show up the next time so we have a new one now who likes to unfathomably rearrange all our belongings. Could turn this thrilling tale into a film and call it "Clean Girls". Groan...

Ollie is currently devastated that the smart doorbell he bought (so you can "answer" the door when you're not in and get the postman to hide any parcels behind the food waste bin) has stopped working! I'm not massively interested in all the smart technology and don't have a problem with pressing a switch rather than have a room illuminate itself all on its own as I walk in, but Ollie loves it so I just go along with whatever he wants. And to be fair I was delighted when I asked our Alexa robot thing to play Get the Party Started last night and she complied.

I think a bike ride and cooking something nice for dinner are the only things on my agenda today (ignoring my looming tax return as always). I love autumn!

EDIT: a few pics of Flatford, if it works...

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