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October 2024-10-25 | 8:14 a.m. OK, it's happened, I've finally turned into a pretty-much-middle-aged crazy person (note: crazy people are available in other age groups and flavours). I've developed a reverse-crush on someone at work, as in a person I want to hide from and avoid. I've been at my current court house for more than a year now, job-sharing a long set of related trials, and they're set to continue til at least the spring. I love it there, but over the past few weeks one of the male security guards has been getting slightly over-familiar. Or it could just be my imagination, I'm not sure. Just a few comments: asking my name (not a crime); now using my name every time he sees me (not a crime); informing me I look well (not a crime); mentioning he's noticed I work part time (not a crime); telling me, "That was a perfect scan," after scanning my body with a handheld metal detector (not a crime...but ew?). And during the day popping up out of nowhere in corridors asking me how I am multiple times. Reading back it all sounds like a fair overreaction on my part and I need to get a life. It was just one day recently when going through one of the two sides of security and realising he was working my side and I exclaimed, "Oh no," out loud. I hadn't realised it bothered me til that point, and now here I am on my train to work, plotting to walk in a different way so I can get a better view of each of the doors leading inside and choosing accordingly. And pondering taking the luggage tag with my name and address off my bag with my work equipment. I did put a warning at the beginning of this entry and yes, I feel slightly unhinged. I have to keep this stuff inside from people in real life, and what's the point of keeping an online diary (more dormant than active, but still!) for 23 years if you can't rant without rhyme or reason once in a while? Edit, 12.26 pm. I couldn't avoid him this morning. I spotted which side he was on so went to the opposite doors, then was instructed by a different security guard to go back to "his" side. D'oh. Thankfully he wasn't doing the body scanning, but I received comments as I went through, including a doleful look accompanied by, "You don't come here anymore." (I was here Monday and Tuesday; he picked up my gloves when I dropped them on the floor on one of those days.) "You don't come here during the week." (I reminded him I'm part-time.) And then some mutterings I couldn't quite hear but sounded along the lines that I must be rich. Huh. Anyway, I've now mentioned to a couple of people I work with that I am indeed uncomfortable. Also the luggage tag is staying away and out of sight for now! |
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