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It's so much better
2008-08-16 | 12:45 p.m.

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It sort of feels like a milestone, having had one of my best friends marry. And what a day - it was great.

I felt inexplicably nervous before-hand, maybe because this was the first time I have gone to a wedding where it was in a church, I have been fully responsible for getting myself there on time and not doing anything stupid, etc. In fact I even said to Simon 'This is the most important wedding I've been to!' despite the fact I have only gone to two weddings before and one of those was my dad's (!) in 2001.

A few of the uni mates were invited which comprised Si, Natalie and Blonde Sarah. And the important thing is we all behaved ourselves during the church service and were fairly well-behaved at the reception. Simon I was especially impressed with as later on he said he didn't want to get too drunk so was having a lot of soft drink, as was I - one half pint of water per gallon of wine (I jest), which was a relief as he is prone to putting his foot in it sometimes. Occasionally I wonder how he has stayed such good friends with Tori as some of his gaffes include saying to her:

"That outfit makes you look like a marshmallow."

"That jumper reminds me of a tea cosy."

And upon seeing a photo of Tori's mum for the first time, "Who is that dude with the afro?"

He did wrap all our joint present to Tori and Pete (camcorder) in Christmas wrapping paper, but more fool us for leaving that job to a boy. The camcorder is great though and we did some amateur filming in the evening which consists of many a ramble and I for whatever reason thought it would be hilarious to launch into a Simpsons-esque monologue prattling about how 'according to the dictionary, the definition of a wedding is "The removal of weeds from one's garden."' I hope it doesn't end up on YouTube.

So as indicated we had all the usual affair - reception at Bushey Golf Club with sit down dinner, speeches, cake, music and dancing. It finished at midnight, at which point Blonde Sarah, who I was sharing a hotel with, decided it was an excellent idea to carry on and party.

What really happened is she brought one of the groom's friends back and ordered a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine on room service after we'd all spent 15 minutes scouring the place looking for a minibar (I swear I opened the same cupboard three times hoping one would just magically appear). She drank one small sip and then promptly passed out, so the groom's mate and I made a cuppa and chatted bollocks for ages before falling asleep ourselves. Apologies for lack of debauchery.

The next day, before leaving, the kleptomaniac within pushed herself to the surface of my being and I ended up taking home the following: Crabtree & Evelyn shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, a sewing kit, a bonnet de douche, a wooden pen, a bottle opener, tea, coffee and a shortbread biscuit (and from breakfast) two pots of honey and three mini babybels.

Sometimes I am just so very, very proud of my actions, I truly am.

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