Shoulder woe and moans
2017-03-21 | 8:33 a.m.

I am sad today as I've had to go off sick from work, probably for the rest of the week, which will only be maybe my fourth or fifth day off sick in 10 years. I had a good run I suppose, and not being paid for sick days is certainly a good incentive for going to work when one only has a mere sniffle.

The days off I had in the past were for (1) blood poisoning, (2) a heavy cold before Xmas a couple of years ago and (3) the time I had a horrendous cough for six weeks and felt like I cracked or rib or two. I knew it was bad as I couldn't stand up when I was in court and the clerk said "Court rise!" and I just kinda hosted myself up by my arms, clinging on to a table, then made an appointment for the doctors.

I digress.

Anyway, I've had a ropey shoulder for about two years now (essentially a form of repetitive strain injury) and have been managing it for a year with regular visits to an osteopath. It's not been amazing but I could live with it.

Unfortunately I think I buggered it up by reversing my non-power steering car out of a very difficult spot when we were staying in the Cotswolds for our wedding anniversary (that came around quickly!) about a week and a half ago.

My shoulder started feeling worse every day last week. It was very painful all of Friday evening when I was out for Natalie's birthday and then when I woke up on Saturday morning I couldn't move it without extreme jolt of electricity type pains.

I made an emergency osteo appointment for that morning, cried as soon as I got there and he tried to lift up my arm (soooooo embarrassing) and have been diagnosed with rotator cuff impingement, which, if those words make you nod and stare blankly like I did actually mean that some of the tendons in my shoulder are trapped.

I soldiered (or should I say "shouldered") my way through work yesterday as my equipment was already set up there and it was the last day of the case. I've been on a manslaughter at the Old Bailey for about six weeks. Not back there permanently; it was just a private booking who wanted a realtime feed and transcript of each day's trial proceedings​. I was only booked to stay until the judge finished his summing-up, which was at lunchtime yesterday, therefore I was able to come home for a nap.

And so it's three days on and I just checked and I still can't lift my arm. I have to get Ollie to put my hair in a ponytail and I'm forced to do everything else I need to do with my non-dominant, left hand.

Not being able to lift my right elbow above boob level means dinnertime turns me into a child-like Mr Tickle/T-Rex hybrid, I dry and straighten my hair as if mimicking participation in an apple bobbing competition and I dress by one-handedly sliding into all my clothes and similarly shaking myself out of them to undress, or have Ollie assist.

I'm back to the osteo this evening at least. I'm still on ibuprofen but I ran out of co-codamol (the first dose made me feel sick; the second made me feel "wayheeeeeey") although that's probably a good thing as you're only allowed to take it for three days due to its addictive properties.

Talking of properties (a tenuous link to the above paragraph I have to say) we get the keys to the house we bought in Essex next Thursday! We'll be moving in properly after Easter but going up next week to sort a few things. It's a bit of a scary but also an exciting and magical time. I'm already trying to germinate some chilli plants in the airing cupboard as I'm going to have a garden for the first time in seven years and oh my God I cannot wait.

In other very positive news my dad has finished all his chemotherapy, is presently cancer-free and awaiting a date for an operation to reverse his stoma. We don't know what the future holds but at this moment there's a lot to be thankful for.

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