I had barely had four hours sleep when he stormed into my room and bellowed, "Where are the beers!?"

*all dopey and freshly woken up* "I dunno.."

"That doesn't sound like a very convincing 'dunno'! WHERE ARE THEY!?"

I didn't know where the Budweisers had gone. They believed there had been 24 of them and between us last night we only consumed about 12. They haven't been recovered so their theorum now is that a tramp came into our house, stole 12 bottles of Bud and went off to guzzle them sitting by our nearby stream.

Yes.

Anyway, today we went bowling. In the first game I sucked huge hairy bollocks but by the second game I managed to redeem myself and got a couple of half-strikes. I was upset to learn that the Hollywood Bowl does not have a Shine-O Ball-O, but was amused when a small child fell over while trying to throw a bowling bowl down his lane. I tried hard to hold back my laughter but I really did laugh quite loudly at this. Being discreet is not a quality I have I'm afraid!

I have steadily been consuming Diet Pepsi since getting back, and I don't know if it has any hallucigenic properties but I opened my window while the torrential storm was on and heard children outside, which I suppose was a bit Blair Witchy. But it must have been my imagination, because surely no children would be out playing at night in a thunderstorm. Ok I'm scared now, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. Hmm. *runs away*

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