I've just realised there is no way of charging my phone. My charger has decided to pack the fuck up and not work, and my brother has taken his up to frigging York, so I've switched if off for now.

Do they even sell chargers on their own? (It's a Nokia, if you were wondering.) The outdoor market probably sells them, but it's not market day until Wednesday, and I'm spending the day practicing putting up a tent for the Reading festival and going to London to buy t-shirts from a scary shop in Camden.

I remember one time going in there: "Velcome to Dizzneeland…" this man said, whilst waggling my arm about and pushing me to the far end of the dingy shop.

"You go upstairs! Now!" he said as we tried to exit the place.

"Er, we're going now," I said, and with that he looked me in the eye and made a pounding action with one fist into the palm of his other hand. I believe he was attempting to be scary.

And then I pulled down my trousers and pissed all over the fucking shop.

Not really.

I’ve noticed that in virtually every diary entry I have ever entered I've used the word 'Anyway', so… Anyway, tonight at work I HANDED IN MY NOTICE! My manager asked me, "Would you like to be transferred to Leicester?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" I wanted to laugh at him, but didn't. Instead I said, "No, I’d rather be unemployed for the next year, thank you," and walked away jangling my jewellery keys. So I have the next two weeks off work, followed by two more weeks of work, then it's off oop t'north (to the East Midlands) to start a new life. Woohah!

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