Dow now now nownownow
2003-07-17 | 8:18 p.m.

I'd forgotten how absolutely, diabolically terrible hangovers make me feel. Not only did I feel nauseous, breathless and had a pounding head, the walk in the drizzle to my doctor's appointment only made me feel worse. In the waiting room I tried reading a magazine but shortly after starting this task realised that if I carried on then I would definitely, certainly, 100% have yakked up on the floor. So I sat there with my head cocked to one side (it was the only comfortable way) wishing someone would smother my face with a chloroform soaked rag until I was in blissful unconsciousness.

The only good thing to come out of that visit was the news that I've (quite unknowingly) lost two kilograms in weight. Yip yip yooray!

But the hangover and the deafness in one of my ears and the missing memories are all signs that it was A Good Night. I was so pissed that the post-nightclub trip to the 24 hour Tesco involved me buying a sesame-seeded freshly baked loaf of bread and two pasta snacks, one of which came home to my fridge and was consumed at 6.00 am. Bloody hell, I might as well have done the weekly shop.

And I'm an idiot because I believed crossing a dual carriageway would be a good idea, dropped the contents of my purse on the journey across and nearly got mowed down by a car in the process of collecting my precious spilled pound coins.

I may learn to be more sensible one day although the truth of the matter is that's not really very likely. I blame vodka, I really do.

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