Today I am really, really disliking the shape of my eyebrows - it's like they're trying to do an impression of the McDonald's logo. It's my own stupid fault for trying to disobey nature as traditionally my eyebrows grow in a perfectly acceptable horizontal fashion. So of course the sensible thing wouldn't be to pluck your horizontal eyebrows into an arch? I won't answer that.

However there are bigger things to worry about in life, like the fact I may not have a job anymore by August. I guess we always knew that one day technology would take over the world, leaving humans completely redundant. Three course meals will be condensed down to the size of a postage stamp, tiny but fully functional television screens will be implanted inside our eyelids and the weather will operate by remote control. My job looks likely to be taken over by digital recording. Fuckers. We find out in the next two weeks or so anyway.

(I wonder if you can buy spray-on eyebrows like you can spray-on hair?)

I'm finally starting to feel the Christmas spirit though. All I ever need is for it to be December and to hear Fairytale of New York. I'm sure I said the exact same thing last year! I went to another Christmas craft fair in Knebworth yesterday, which had its own massive separate, partitioned off section of the marquee for edible items. I got to sample biscuits, sauces, mulled-this that and the other, sausages, crisps and about eight million different cheeses. It was heavenly.

I have my first Christmas party on Thursday and it is in Mayfair. Knowing my luck I'll be sent to prison for being drunk and disorderly, without being able to pass Go and collect �200. Hehe.


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