Yesterday was my honourary birthday (well, if having two birthdays is good enough for Her Maj...!), because my actual birthday is tomorrow and I much prefer Fridays to Sundays. I reserved the balcony area in what is probably London's poshest Wetherspoon's for 5.00 pm and had all my lovely work friends come along and two of my best chums and ex-HMs, Tori and Natalie. I'm getting Tori's present to me when I drop her home later but I received what is possibly the most fantastic present ever off Natalie, which consisted of Napoleon Dynamite on DVD, a bake your own frog cookies set and a chocolate pony! I was one very happy girl.

So it was pretty great as honourary birthdays go and I had much rose wine and blue cocktails. Tori and I planned to stop off at a club in my hometown after getting a train back at midnight but we both had (oh my God I am ashamed) triple bacon burgers with cheese on the way (WTF, *triple* burger. Honestly, who needs this?) which I devoured like a starving hyena and loved every mouthful of, even whilst thinking that the cheese looked like it might have come out of a can a la whipped cream. Whilst eating our somewhat delayed dinner, Tori and I made friends with a Swedish man on the train, who I found boring to the point I would rather have watched some golf on TV, so I very wisely and skilfully pretended to be asleep. Once off the train we hopped in a taxi and came back to mine and were in bed somewhere around 2.00. And that brings us up to this morning.

Some of you lovely people who read this will know what age I'm going to have attained tomorrow. For those who don't, here's a brain training exercise for you (cor, I'm good as a DS Lite, I am): I will be the exact amount of years away from 18 as I am from 30.

And with that terrifying realisation, I think I better go and have a lie down...

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