I am slowly and surely feeling better as the days go by. I think I summed it up perfectly to Katie yesterday by saying 'It's two weeks of shit and then you start healing.' And boy am I glad those two weeks of shit are now behind me as that was NOT a happy place. I don't think I have ever been that miserable, where the best bit of my day would be the moment I woke up in the morning, before it hit me that I could no longer be with the person I loved.

I actually had contact from him on Sunday, on MSN. He said he hadn't been in touch because he 'didn't want to give me false hope.' To which I responded by asking what made him think I'd still want to be with him after all this. Because I couldn't. Because it just wouldn't be the same. And because he doesn't deserve the luxury of being able to click his fingers and have me back.

My friends have been so supportive to me - I don't know how or why I deserve it. I spent Saturday night with Tori and Natalie at Tori's and I think it was just what I needed.

Oh yeah, I DROVE TO TORI'S. She lives in Bushey, which is about a 40 minute drive from me (unless you get briefly lost in Borehamwood, which I did). I felt so proud to have done my first big (ish) motorway journey on my own, even though I sat in the middle of the A1 for several miles after heeding my stepdad's advice of 'Don't get off on the M25!'

Actually the scariest part of the drive was when I got hot. I opened the window and a large spider decided it wanted to join me in my little bubble of car-ness from the outside world. So I had to shut the window and remain hot because if I'd had it in with me I could well have been more concerned with screaming rather than concentrating on the road. Not good.

Well I think that's it for the while but it's good to know I'm in an infinitely better place than when I wrote my last entry.

The only thing left to say is if you're a Neighbours fan then watch this and let me know if you found Katja, Cameron and Karl as hilarious as I did.

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